The Man Who's Stuck on Earth

I haven’t tripped in at least a few years now and booze tends to plane off my reactions instead of sharpening them, so it takes other wrinkles of consciousness to give me fresh twinges of surprised alienation. I fell asleep on the couch watching TV last night and woke up with a crick in my neck about a half hour ago, just as a spayed weatherman wrapped up his morning report with, “It’s going to be a beautiful day today so you have no excuse not to go shopping.” Naturally this was cause for much mirth for the two female coanchors, one of whom burbled, “Like we need an excuse!” and the other of whom rejoined, “He means shopping for other people!,” setting off fresh waves of giggles amongst the trio. It’s moments like that that make me wish my mother ship would beam me aboard and whisk me back to Alpha Centauri.

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